Kyle
Son. Brother. Uncle. Cousin. Grandchild. Father.
Hilarious. Friendly. Kind. Adventurous. Likeable. Considerate.
Patient. Hardworking. Self-disciplined. Trustworthy. Reliable. Ambitious.
Determined. Confident. Gentle. Optimistic. Smart. Willing.
UPS Supervisor. Academy employee.
Dog dad.
Kyle and AJ
Kyle
Junkie. Problem. Addict. Criminal.
Dangerous. Liar. Sick. Trouble. Bad.
Kyle is my son's father. He passed away from an overdose in 2014 when our son was 3 months old. I see him in a different way than society sees him. I see all that encompasses him. Society only sees what they choose to see. Kyle was young, only 21. I was 18. We had known each other since 2011. We went to high school together and grew up three streets away from each other. He named AJ (Adrian Jordan) after his favorite football player Adrian Peterson. Him and AJ are one day short of being birthday buddies. He is the reason my love for OU football is so strong! I was super lucky to know someone like him.
Authors Note: I wrote it this way because I think it is important for people to see that those struggling with substance use are more than their struggles. This isn't technically a biography about just me. But it's about someone who had a huge impact on my life. He changed the entire trajectory of my life. He's the reason I am a mom, compassionate, emphatic, patient, and understanding. He's also the reason I went into social work and am pursuing a career in the field of substance use and mental health. I wanted to share this part of me because without him, there is no present day me.
Wow, Destiny.
ReplyDeleteThis... this is powerful. I did not realize what I was reading until I was finished reading it. I had just come from your intro page, seeing (almost) 6 year old AJ, and now seeing baby AJ is incredible. I think this sheds so much more light on why you are becoming a social worker, and I am so glad that I got to read this piece. Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing this piece. I got a lot out of it, having addicts in the family.
best wishes to you and AJ both.
Destiny, thank you so much for sharing this experience. You've opened my eyes in a lot of ways, and now I want to step back and address how I've looked at things all my life. Your words are amazing, and like the comment before me said, incredibly powerful. You're courageous, and I only hope for the best for you and your son.
ReplyDeleteDestiny,
ReplyDeleteThis was a really emotional and powerful piece. Thank you for sharing your experience and for helping to spread awareness. I agree that most people's conceptualization of those who struggle with substance abuse is entirely too negative and blaming. Substance abuse is categorized as a disorder among psychiatrists and I believe that it should be viewed with the same sympathy and willingness to help that we often see with depression or anxiety. It's also great that you reminded people how everyone is so much more than the sum of their problems. I wish you and your son the best and thank you again.
Wow. Just, wow. I am at loss of words after reading this. The way you chose to write this is so incredibly compelling, especially how you organized the different identifiers used to describe Kyle. It goes to show that being an "addict" or a "criminal" does not define a person, it is no who they are but merely a small part of it. I can't imagine what it must have been for you to lose your son's father, your partner, but I am so glad that you have found a way to use this loss and turn it into something good and positive. This must have been incredibly difficult to write, but I am happy that you found the strength to share this with us.
ReplyDelete